


shit out of luck

by moonprism (orphan_account)



Series: Mom, Come Get Me [3]
Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Banter, Bickering, Crushes, Dating, Developing Relationship, Drug Dealing, Ficlet, Friendship, M/M, Roommates, Video Game Mechanics, episodic format
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-19
Updated: 2018-02-19
Packaged: 2019-03-20 20:59:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,483
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13725852
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/moonprism
Summary: In which Yukhei is failing at progressing a relationship with Mark, and Jaehyun is being constantly terrorized by double trouble.





	shit out of luck

**Author's Note:**

> Part two of this wretched series. I started another fic that I decided could fit in _Mom, Come Get Me_ , but I started shitposting side characters from that fic in messages with [my bestfriend](http://archiveofourown.org/users/lovetaste/profile) and decided to turn it into a ficlet while I write the longer piece! The longer piece is a Jungwoo/Ten fic that is talked about in this one. [Here's a preview for now](https://78.media.tumblr.com/01855b062bc96dde1a29fc497e656968/tumblr_p4deygTHmy1sz8ywto1_1280.png)! I plan on the completed fic being over 15K, so it'll take me a bit to finish it. But the entire piece _is_ plotted out. This fic is just a bare narrative for fun of Jungwoo's roommates, Yukhei and Jaehyun, and their own shitty existences.
> 
> ** Format: **   
>  • This fic is in an episodic format. ( **episodic:** containing or consisting of a series of loosely connected parts or events; occurring occasionally and at irregular intervals. ) This means the fic isn't in a smooth narrative format; lots of things are left out because it's only focusing on particular events: Yukhei trying to date Mark and Donghyuck and Jaemin terrorizing Jaehyun.   
>  **• Markhei's format:** Their format is that of a dating simulation game (dating-sim) where each "episode" is given a simple, but cheesy title, and Yukhei has to pick options in order to reach the "ending" where he dates Mark. Does Yukhei pick the best options?   
>  **• Jaehyun's format:** Jaehyun's format is set up similar to battles of turn-based video games. Every time he encounters Donghyuck and Jaemin, his HP (Hit Points) are affected. His HP = his "life"/"spirit." When he reaches 0, he officially "loses" the battle. (He will lose the battle.) Jaemin and Donghyuck function as a unit, and their HP, Attack, and Defense are greater than Jaehyun's because Jaehyun is pathetic.
> 
> **Warnings:**   
>  • Jaehyun is a drug dealer who specializes in selling weed and prescription stimulants. Sorry.    
>  • Donghyuck buys these things from him. Double sorry.   
>  • If you don't like this, don't read it! Simple as that. Nothing scary happens with the drugs, and I never write anyone doing the drugs.

**~First Encounter~**

Yukhei meets Mark in his organic chemistry class and decides immediately he’s infatuated.

First day of class--a Monday, the _first_ monday--second semester, and the person next to him leans over to ask “You get any of this shit, dude?” And Yukhei looks down at his notes, nothing legible or anything he can understand written on lined paper, and blows a sigh of relief that at least he’s not the only one. Why go over shit on _syllabus_ day, Yukhei wants to scream. Give him time to buy the goddamn textbook first! If Yukhei is being honest, he’s tired and slightly hung over from the party the night before.

Yukhei leans over and goes, “Nah, not really.” And the guy laughs and holds out his hand for Yukhei to grab in some form of kinship.

“We got each other in this, man,” Mark whispers. “I’m Mark, by the way,” he tells him, letting go of Yukhei’s hand and gesturing to himself.

“Yukhei,” he replies. But the professor looks over to them before they can further the conversation. Yukhei reminds himself to get Mark’s number after class. Maybe Yukhei finds him attractive, in this weird way. And he’s sure Mark will give him his number.

And he does. They stand at their desks and swap numbers once the professor announces class is over, and Mark saves his name in Yukhei’s phone as _Mark Lee (Devil Emoji)_.

“You got a class after this?” Yukhei asks him as they both take the stairs down to the first floor of the math building. Hoping they can maybe hang out or something if Mark says he doesn’t.

“Nope. I don’t have another class until one-twenty five,” he says, looking at the time on his phone. “You free?”

Yukhei doesn’t want to say that he only has one class today, so he just opts for “Yeah, I am.”

“Cool. Wanna grab some food?” And Yukhei thanks his gay fucking stars. He doesn’t really want to buy expensive food court food, but whatever. Mark was the one to ask to hang out and _not him_. Even though he was totally about to.

And when they finally sit down with their food at one sort-of-clean table in the center of the dining area, Mark stuffing his face with Chick-Fil-A, Yukhei can’t help but look at him, a small smile creeping up his mouth. Mark is cute. Like, maybe.

 ******[Choice 1 -- Options:**  
** > Ask him to hang out again soon**  
** > Ask him if he’s gay]**

So Yukhei does what he does best: not consider or think through anything. “Hey, you gay, dude?”

And Mark almost chokes on a nugget.  
  
  
  
**Battle, Start! Jaehyun vs Donghyuck & Jaemin! Round 1!**

** [JAEHYUN: HP: 100/100, ATK: 56, DEF: 25] **

Jaehyun understands the dangers of selling drugs on campus, but he needs to eat somehow. All of his paycheck at his shitty campus bookstore job goes to his student apartment rent, and he needs money to, like, maybe feed himself to survive. His roommate Jungwoo said as long as he doesn’t drag him and Yukhei down with him when ( _if!_ ) he gets caught, then he has no problem with it.

So this is what Jaehyun does to get by, and he doesn’t plan on doing it _forever_. But he’s about to lose his shit because of one of his buyers.

“Hey, man,” Donghyuck says walking up to him, reaching out his hand for Jaehyun to take it to greet him. They shake hands, and Jaehyun can see that a delicate looking boy is with Donghyuck this time. They’re in the parking lot of Jaehyun’s student apartment, off in an area where the lights can’t quite hit them.

** [DONGHYUCK: HP: 120/120, ATK: 83, DEF: 50] **

“Is he buying, too?” Jaehyun asks, trying to find the baggy for Donghyuck he had made earlier.

“Nah, I’m just tagging along,” the boy says, throwing his hands up.

“Oh, okay, cool. Nice to meet you. I’m Jaehyun,” Jaehyun says politely.

“Yeah, you too,” he replies. “I’m Jaemin.” He crosses his arms over his chest.

** [JAEMIN: HP: 180/180, ATK: 95, DEF: 95] **

Jaehyun doesn’t really know what to say, and he’s still digging for Donghyuck’s fucking baggy. How unprofessional, he thinks. Whatever. So, he makes idle small talk. But dumbly.

“So,” he begins, searching, “are you guys friends?” Like, no shit Jaehyun. And Jaehyun finally finds the plastic bag he reserved for Donghyuck. He can hear Jaemin snicker at his question, and Jaehyun suddenly wants to fight a freshman in the parking lot.

Donghyuck makes a dramatic scoff. “No, this is my _boyfriend_? _Duh_.” And he says it in such a way Jaehyun knows he’s kidding--being a _smartass_ , and it only makes Jaehyun want to turn Donghyuck away or fight _two_ freshmen. Damn, the shit he gets and doesn’t even deserve. Donghyuck snatches the bag from Jaehyun’s hand, and he and Jaemin walk off.

** [JAEHYUN: HP -25, HP: 75/100] **

“I Venmo’d you the cash,” Donghyuck says, Jaemin catching up next to Donghyuck’s side. Jaemin doesn’t even look back, and Donghyuck waves a salute to Jaehyun.

“Yeah, yeah, I got the notification,” Jaehyun replies. “Little shit,” he mutters under his breath.

Jaehyun stomps up the stairs to the second floor and throws his apartment door open.

“What’s up with you, man?” Yukhei asks, eyes glued to his phone.

“That fucking Donghyuck kid!” Jaehyun almost yells.

“Donghyuck? That’s Mark’s roommate’s name,” Yukhei thinks aloud. “Wonder if it’s him.”

“Mark from our human geo lecture?” Jungwoo asks, peeping out of the kitchen. And his voice sounds a little distraught, and Jaehyun doesn’t have the energy to figure out why.

“Mark’s in our lecture?” Yukhei says, finally looking up from his screen.

“Wait,” Jungwoo says, “you really didn’t know? Don’t you like him?”

“Who the fuck is Mark?” Jaehyun asks, frustrated.  
  
  
  
**~Problems Arise! Conflicting Feelings~**

On a Thursday evening, Yukhei spots Mark in the university cafeteria, starry eyed over a certain part time worker who happens to be the graduate student teaching assistant of his, Jungwoo’s, and Mark’s Human Geography lecture. Ten, dressed in his cute apron, is giving his full attention and smile to Mark, and Yukhei would be jealous or even worried if he didn’t know Ten’s _very shitty_ secret.

Yukhei isn’t a snitch at all; he’d never break Mark’s heart and tell him “Hey, you don’t have a chance in Hell with Ten, and he’s fucking my roommate and our classmate Jungwoo. Also, date me instead.” It would crush Mark. Yukhei has only known Mark for less than two weeks and can already tell this would devastate him. And the whole “Date me instead” thing. It’s just not realistic.

Maybe Yukhei needs to step up his game and win Mark’s heart before Ten can unintentionally break it. And save Jungwoo’s ass. Seeing as how Ten is one-hundred-fucking percent wearing Jungwoo’s hoodie under his apron. And if Mark realizes, it’s fucking over. Yukhei guesses he has some kind of loyalty to Jungwoo. They’re close after all.

 ******[Choice 2 -- Options:**  
** > Engage Mark**  
** > Engage Ten]**

Yukhei walks over to the two of them--casually, nonchalantly--and pretends to suddenly see Mark, raising the intonation of his voice when he speaks. “Mark! Ten! Woah, what a coincidence!” And both Ten and Mark turn their heads, and Mark smiles brightly at him. God, shit. Yukhei is weak.

“Yukhei! Dude! Good to see you,” he says. Ten waves politely at Yukhei, and the air between them is somewhat weird just for the fact that Yukhei holds Ten’s life in his fucking hands basically. Ten looks at Yukhei with eyes that read “Don’t fucking say anything or I’ll kill you,” and Yukhei doesn’t doubt it. And of course he wouldn’t.

“I just got here,” Yukhei says. “Why don’t we eat together?” he asks. “If you haven’t already,” he adds. He needs to get Mark away from Ten.

“Nah, dude, me too. I’ll sit with you.”  
  
  
  
“Guess who just saved your ass,” Yukhei says as he walks into their apartment living room.

“You, I’m guessing,” Jungwoo says, spinning around in the desk chair to face Yukhei. “Since you’re asking.”

“I had dinner with Mark,” he says.

“That doesn’t benefit me at all,” Jungwoo tells him.

“I _mean_ ,” Yukhei begins, “Ten stupidly wore your most frequented hoodie to work and talked to Mark. I distracted him.” Yukhei flops onto the couch and it squeaks and dips under his weight.

“He wore it?” Jungwoo asks, perking up only slightly, as if someone other than Yukhei and Jaehyun finding out Jungwoo is fucking their teaching assistant could get them both into a _lot_ of shit. Knowing Ten, he probably doesn’t even realize it’s Jungwoo’s.

“Not the point,” Yukhei continues. “I could have just run into Mark normally and had a nice, lukewarm university meal with him, but instead I spent the whole time trying to figure out how I could keep Mark from looking at stupid Ten every time he got close to our table.”

“Aw, you were looking out for me,” Jungwoo says, tilting his head and touching his palm against his cheek.

“Only because it’s freakin’ risky! If you get kicked out, I’m gonna have to room with that crabby, drug dealing son of a bitch! And then I’ll be alone in jail without you when we all get arrested for Jaehyun’s crime of selling weed to freshmen.”

“Oh, so it’s not because you care Mark is interested in someone else?”

“He doesn’t like him. I asked. He just thinks he’s cool.”

“You only cared to talk to Mark _because_ of Ten?” Jungwoo says, sly smile on his face.

Yukhei starts yelling, coming unhinged, throwing up his arms in exasperation. “Why are you grilling my ass, dude! Ten was the one talking to him! I didn’t force them to talk! Besides, he’s your stupid fuckbuddy!”

“I can’t control Ten. He’s a grown ass man with a bachelor’s degree and a used car.”

Jaehyun’s door opens enough for his head to stick out, and his shoulders are noticeably bare. “Can you two, uh, I don’t know, shut the hell up?”

“Who’s in there?” Yukhei asks him, head tilted back to look at Jaehyun.

“Don’t worry about it.” The door slams closed. Yukhei looks at Jungwoo.

“Sicheng,” Jungwoo says and spins back around in the chair. “We’ll deal with your Mark feelings later.”  
  
  
  
**Jaehyun vs Donghyuck & Jaemin! Round 2!**

** [JAEHYUN: HP: 75/100, ATK: 56, DEF: 25] **

** [DONGHYUCK & JAEMIN: HP: 300/300, ATK: 178, DEF: 145] **

“Dude, I owe you for meeting me here,” Donghyuck says to Jaehyun, Jaemin standing next to him on his phone. The courtyard to one of the student center’s main entrances is sparsely populated, and one of the only people here is the old guy who stands around preaching about Armageddon. Donghyuck takes a pamphlet and little Bible every time, and it’s become somewhat of a collection over the weeks inside of a fabric bin under his dorm bed.

“Yeah, of course,” Jaehyun said. “I was free, so whatever.” Jaehyun hands him the bag discreetly. He’s exhausted and broke, so.

“You look awful,” Jaemin says, off handed comment slapping Jaehyun in the face.

** [JAEHYUN: HP -10, HP: 65/100] **

And he really does. The circles under his eyes are dark, hair a mess, clothes a mess. Donghyuck is surprised he even came out in public like this.

“What did you _do_ to get like this?” Donghyuck asks incredulously. He’s sure Donghyuck is asking more out of curiosity than care.

“Don’t worry about it,” is all Jaehyun says. So Donghyuck doesn’t.

“Can’t believe you do this kind of shit,” Donghyuck laughs. “You seem so…” And Donghyuck makes a swirling, ambiguous hand motion in the air.

“I’m Little Pharma,” Jaehyun says.

“I don’t get it,” Donghyuck says, holding out his hand for the bag.

“Like the Big Pharma conspiracy?”

“Not clicking,” he says. “It sounds like a rapper name.”

** [JAEHYUN: HP -5, HP: 60/100] **

Jaemin speaks up. “No, his rapper name is _Li’l_ Pharma.”

Jaehyun finally digs the bag out his backpack, and Donghyuck snatches it once again.

“Thank you, bitch,” Donghyuck says, and Jaemin laughs.

** [JAEHYUN: HP -20, HP: 45/100] **

Jaehyun is so taken aback he doesn’t say anything.  
  
  
  
Jaehyun falls onto the couch, hands covering his tired face. “That Donghyuck kid called me a bitch today.”

At the desk, without turning around, Yukhei only asks, “Was he wrong?”

“Does he say that to the cashiers at the grocery store? To the Rapture-obsessed guy around campus handing out mini bibles?”

“Can you be quiet? I’m trying to study.”  
  
  
  
**~First Date~**

“Hey, I’m leaving,” Yukhei announces to Jaehyun, hand on their front door doorknob, bag slung over his shoulder.

“Where are you going?”

“Me and Mark are hanging out in the Delta dorm lounge. We’re going to watch anime together on my laptop.”

“That’s very 2014 weeaboo of you.”

“Don’t wait up!” Yukhei calls from the hallway, ignoring Jaehyun’s comment, the door slamming shut from the force of Yukhei ‘s strength.

“I would never do something for another person, but okay,” Jaehyun says to himself.  
  
  
  
Yukhei walks into the Delta lounge and immediately spots Mark. He looks extremely comfortable, university sweats and oversized hoodie almost big enough to fit Yukhei--it makes him think immediately of what Mark would look like in one of Yukhei‘s own jackets, and he smiles stupidly to himself.

Mark’s eyes light up and a smile stretches over his face, waving at Yukhei. “Yo!” he calls to him. “I literally just got here. Perfect timing,” Mark laughs.

They sit together on a small worn sofa, and Mark’s thigh presses against his, and Yukhei likes how comfortable and good this feels. Mark’s fingers graze Yukhei's own, and Yukhei can’t help but nervously pull his thick bottom lip into his mouth with his two front teeth.

“What do you want to watch?” Yukhei asks him as he opens his laptop and sets it on the low table in front of them.

“I don’t know, forreal,” Mark replies. “I don’t really watch anime.”

“What? Dude, no way. I’ll show you my favorite,” Yukhei says, and he immediately opens the streaming site to pull up the series.

And four episodes into _Gundam Wing_ \--Japanese dub, English sub--Mark is completely knocked out, head resting against the back of the chair. Yukhei thinks it’s cute and everything, but, like, now what?

 **[Choice 3 -- Options:**  
** > Wake him up**  
** > Leave]**  
  
  
  
“You’re home early,” Jaehyun says, still sitting on the couch but this time Sicheng is on the other end.

“Yeah, Mark fell asleep.”

“What did you pick to watch?” Sicheng asks.

“ _Gundam Wing_ ,” Yukhei tells him, setting his backpack against the wall.

Jungwoo walks out of his room, and joins the conversation: “You picked the most boring, slow-start, convoluted bullshit of a _Gundam_ series to watch on your first date? No wonder he fell asleep.”

“ _Listen!_ ” Yukhei yells, about to defend his honor. Those depressed Gundam boys are his life, and thirteen year old Yukhei would die for the main heroine Relena. What does Jungwoo know.

Sicheng laughs. “At least it wasn’t _0079_.”

“Stop talking about this nerd shit,” Jaehyun cries. “I don’t understand it.”

“Get with the fuckin’ program, then,” Sicheng says, crossing his legs and laying back dramatically against Jaehyun. He takes out his phone and finally rests his back against Jaehyun’s shoulder.

“But you left in the middle of your own date?” Jungwoo begins. “You didn’t want to stay, and, like, wake him up gently? Wouldn’t it have been, like, a little romantic to wait until he did?”

Yukhei, trying his best to justify himself, retorts immediately. “What does a guy who got a Goodwill sweater from his fuckbuddy know about romance?” Sicheng rubs his fingers into his eyes, and visibly tries to hold himself back from laughing.

“More than you,” Jungwoo quips, and Jaehyun obnoxiously blasts the air horn app from his iPhone.

“I hate you guys! Damn!” Yukhei exasperates. Yukhei doesn’t understand how Sicheng puts up with Jaehyun. Ever.

“Wait,” Jaehyun freezes. “You left Mark alone in the lounge asleep?”

“Yep, goodnight.”  
  
  
  
**Jaehyun vs Donghyuck & Jaemin! Round 3!**

** [JAEHYUN: HP: 45/100, ATK: 56, DEF: 25] **

** [DONGHYUCK & JAEMIN: HP: 300/300, ATK: 178, DEF: 145] **

“Well, well, well,” Jaehyun hears Donghyuck call to him from beside his place in the food court Chick-Fil-A line. Donghyuck isn’t waiting in line but rather standing outside of it, fountain drink in hand with Jaemin next to him. “If it isn’t Li’l Pharma.” Sicheng suppresses a laugh next to him.

“ _Dude_ ,” Jaehyun says to Sicheng, betrayed, elbowing him in the arm. Sicheng looks off into the distance.

Jaemin wastes no time to make a comment. “You can give me your mixtape. I’ll listen to it. Send me your SoundCloud.”

“Don’t you guys have anything better to do than harass us?”

“We’re harassing _you_ , not this guy,” Donghyuck explains, gesturing to Sichen before biting into the straw in his cup.

“God, it’s like you two are always fucking together!” Jaehyun wants to tear his hair out. Donghyuck was at least more tolerable when he met him the first time. And Jaemin seems like he’d be _decent_ if he wasn’t around Donghyuck. What’s their deal?

Jaemin furrows his eyebrows rudely, and a scowl twitches across his surprised face. “It’s like we’re _dating_ , you idiot.”

** [JAEHYUN: HP -25, HP: 20/100] **

“Yeah, can’t you freakin’ hear? I said it like a month ago.”

“Yikes,” Jaehyun hears Sicheng say.  
  
  
  
“Surprised you came to me after earlier,” Donghyuck tells him at their regular meeting spot. It’s lighter outside this late than usual from the nearby stadium lights illuminating an overcast sky.

“He needs the money,” Jaemin tells him.

“You should stop smoking so much weed,” Jaehyun quips, but he hands the bag to him anyway. Sicheng is there again, sitting on the curb by Jaehyun’s feet.

Donghyuck ignores him. “That your boyfriend?” he asks, pointing at Sicheng.

Jaehyun is, once again, too taken aback to say anything, and Sicheng barks out the loudest fucking laugh he’s ever heard. Donghyuck and Jaemin smile evilly, waving goodbye to Sicheng only before walking back to Donghyuck’s car.

Jaehyun stands there dumbly. “So, we’re dating?” Jaehyun accidentally thinks aloud.

“You fuckin’ anyone else?” Sicheng says from the ground.

And Jaehyun realizes the answer to that: a big fat Nope. **[JAEHYUN: HP -20, HP: 0/100]** “Shit.” He pauses before speaking up again, fingers covering his mouth. “God, I’m Ten.”

** >> K.O.! DEFEATED. **

“I’ll give you a handy or something in the bathroom later for your misfortunes,” Sicheng says before pushing himself up and dusting off his ass.

 ** >> REVIVED! [JAEHYUN: HP +50, HP: 50/100] **  
  
  
  
**~Horizons of Hope~**

“Yukhei, I’m so sorry for falling asleep,” Mark tells him, guilt in his voice. “Subtitles just knock me out,” he explains. “I know that’s a shitty reason, though.” It’s right before lecture, and they’re extremely early; there’s only a handful of other people in their seats. Mark looked surprise to even see Yukhei come in early since _usually_ he misses the first seven minutes every time.

“Dude,” Yukhei says firmly. “It’s really okay,” he laughs. “My roommates said I picked the worst thing to watch. Really, my bad,” he says, rubbing the back of his neck.

“It was our first date, though. I feel like I pretty much stood you up.”

 _Date_? Holy fuck. Mark said that first. Not Yukhei.

“I was the one who left,” Yukhei tells him. What can he say? Sorry he doesn’t know how to be a normal person? “I suck at this, sorry,” he finally settles with. He tries to laugh it off.

“Yeah,” is all Mark says, raising his eyebrows, but he’s smiling.

 ******Choice 4: Options:**  
** > Ignore his comment and refer to him as “Dude”**  
** > Use his name and ask him out for a date tonight**

“Mark,” Yukhei says quietly, “what are you doing tonight?”

“We have an organic chem exam tomorrow,” Mark tells him. “I need to study.” Yukhei closes his eyes. Goddammit! And right before Yukhei starts his apology and promise to hang out again, Mark beats him to it. “We can study together,” Mark says, glint in his eyes. He rests his hand on Yukhei's thigh, and Yukhei _immediately_ agrees.  
  
  
“Well, I’ll be back later. I’m doing stuff with Mark.”

“It’s seven p.m., and you have an eight a.m. lecture,” Jungwoo calls to Yukhei across the bar counter of their kitchen. Jaehyun is sitting on the other side of the counter, eating whatever Jungwoo made, watching Yukhei be a damned disaster. Yukhei is trying to dress himself in a hurry, and Jungwoo has to tell him his sweats are on backwards.

“Chem exam tomorrow,” he says, pulling his sweats on the _right_ way, and throws open the front door.

“Oh, like a study date,” Jaehyun states, pointing his fork at Yukhei.

“Yes, but with no studying. Bye.”

**Author's Note:**

> Obviously this wasn't supposed to be serious lol TTTT I really just... wanted to churn something out and finally post. Formatting this was a pain in the butt cuz I'm dumb. Comments and kudos always appreciated ;__;


End file.
